Hailey's Epic Santa Meetup

This was not Hailey's first Christmas. However, Joe and I were "terrible" parents and didn't take her to meet Santa last year when she was an infant, so we felt like this year, we had to.

Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against the jolly old man, but standing in a gigantic line with a very antsy and active one year old is not exactly my idea of a good time. Despite myself, I had no idea what we were getting ourselves into...

We actually had to try this two times. The first Santa attempt was on a Saturday. Joe and I both work full time, so weekends work best for us. The mall opened at 10, so we showed up to meet Santa at 10. Wrong. We were so wrong. Santa opens up for business at NINE am, an hour earlier than the mall. Which meant that by the time we got there (mall opening time) there was already a TWO HOUR WAIT. Ummm, what? So we took our adorably dressed Hay-Mayker back to the car and went home.

Take two. We decided to nix the whole weekend idea and go to the mall after work one evening. We both managed to slip out of work a little earlier one day, Joe picked up Hailey from daycare and I met them at the mall at 4pm. We got this... right?

Rain. But not just rain, a downpour. And no, we don't have an umbrella in the car. So I wrap Hailey up in my arms, awkwardly hunch over her and we make a run for it from the parking structure to the mall. Our adorable, once-photo-ready 16 month old is now drenched. Parenting Fail #1. It's OK we'll just pat her down and dry her up with a cloth from the diaper bag. Where's the diaper bag? Parenting Fail #2. Damn. Off to Santa we go...

Trudging on, we find Santa. Well, we think we've found him. He's somewhere behind the lines of families waiting to see him. We even found our friends in line with their baby! We say a quick "Hi" and get in the back of the line. Wrong. Our friends yell back to us "This is the line to pick up your pictures AFTER you've seen Santa!"

w.t.f.

OK, fine, we'll go back into the abyss of line and find the end because we are NOT leaving this mall until Hailey has met Santa. OK, found it, except what's that sign say?

"Santa is feeding his reindeer"

Oh, good they've ended the line to give Santa a break. WHAT?!?!?! No way. Parenting Fail # one million. So I run over to the elves and deMAND they let us in, which was more like a lot of pleading and begging. Turns out, they closed the line too early and we could go in. VICTORY! We're in line!

Hailey walking in.

Wait, that line goes all the way back there?!?

Finally queued up, thinking we've gotten over the worst of it, Hailey decides now is the time to fuss. And fuss she did! No diaper bag in hand to keep her busy with a toy or some applesauce, Joe made a quick dash to go find food for her while she and I stayed in line. So much for quick... Joe was gone for what felt like 30 minutes and I was now stuck in the middle of the Santa line with a toddler who quickly went from unhappy to a whaling, crying, flailing monster. You can probably see which direction these Santa photo gems are going to take... I'd be lying if I said Hailey and I weren't both shedding a few tears by the time daddy returned with a grilled cheese to turn our monster child back into a human being.

Our Grilled Cheese Eating Gremlin

MORE!

Just as the grilled cheese ran out, it was FINALLY our turn to meet Santa. Though she was no longer melting down, her face was a little damp from tears (oh and the rain, remember that?) so Santa told us to start by sitting together as a family for a few shots to get her used to the idea...

OK, that kinda worked? Now for the one-on-one shots...

The terror in her eyes is tangible.

Moooooooooooom!

That's a big fat negative. Hailey was not a fan. On the plus side we now have all of these hilarious Kodak moments to cherish!

To be fair, we did kind of set her up for failure from the moment we showed up without an umbrella so I'll give her that. No offense Santa, but I'd say all three of us would be perfectly content waiting a couple, few, lot more years before going through this kind of trauma again. Merry Christmas!